From Reaction to Intention: Choosing How You Show Up and Lead with Purpose

No matter how tough the moment feels, you always have the power to choose how you show up. 

YOU can decide to reclaim your role as a creator of constructive, meaningful conversations. Deciding to shift from reaction to intention, from frustration to contribution, is leadership in its purest form.

The Power of Choice in Tough Moments

When I walked into the rehab center, I wasn’t just there to listen—I was there to get some new insights. But being there again, realizing they ignored my journey and progress following their conclusion, instantly shifted my mindset from open to fully closed off and being infuriated. I started to slouch down, my arms crossed, and my tone became dismissive. I didn’t like it one bit, because that’s not the person I want to be. I want to be uplifting and meet people with a smile, making them feel better. But, well, this was like that proverbial train wreck—it happened, and I couldn’t stop it, even if I had wanted it in that moment. 

“I see you have been here before in 2017.”

No, this can’t be true.  

“I’ve never been here before.” 

“Yes, you were. You talked to doctor L”.

I remember that doctor very well. She wanted me to follow 12 weeks of learning how to deal with pain. Why? Because the surgeon who had me wait for 9 months to do the first surgery, decided he couldn’t do another one. I was livid back then. How I am supposed to work and be on call at the rehab clinic for 12 weeks? Why couldn’t he just do that second surgery? 

“Oh. Dr. L. We talked at the hospital. I think it was hospital A. I have never been here.”

When I realized she had dismissed me, echoing the surgeon’s conclusions, it triggered all the mental pain of not being taken seriously. I responded from the heart, raw and unfiltered. This time I stood up for myself. 

“She was wrong”, I said. “I needed another surgery and I had it end of November 2018 and now I can stand on two feet again.”

It blew my mind once again that they had not even bothered to check my medical records to see if just maybe, something might have changed. It makes me feel like they put themselves above those clinics which have been total life saviors ever since.

“How long can you walk now? An hour?”

I couldn’t help laughing and in retrospect it probably sounded somewhat between hysterical and heavily frustrated. Really? Every day represents a new challenge to me if I can even walk without aids and if so, for how long. The sad truth is that if I had been taken more seriously back in the day, I’d be so much more mobile now. 

Questions:

• When was the last time you consciously chose how to show up in a challenging situation?
• What emotions or beliefs held you back, and how did you overcome them?From Reaction to Intention

From Reaction to Intention

As she steps out, I’m left with my frustration and a choice. I take a breath and reflect. I know this is not the person I want to be, but I need that break to be able to make that shift—to go over what just happened and, more importantly, how to turn it around. I am very aware that I’ve been carrying the weight of past frustrations into the present, and she shouldn’t be on the receiving end when it’s not her doing.

Nowadays I have learned to look at things from a perspective of my future, better self, my future champ. My future self can not just take a step back and reflect, she does it with grace, without slouching down first. It’s time to have her take a leading role and have the present me step up.

When she returns with the senior rehab doctor, I apologize once more. It’s with the same intention as before, but this time, I have a bit more clarity—not just for her, but for myself—on how to be able to do so. I had already explained how deeply the past trauma had shaped my reactions, and when she repeated this back to me, I felt heard in a way I hadn’t before.

Questions:

• What’s one trigger that pulls you into reaction mode, and how can you pause to respond instead? If you would look at it from a perspective of your future self, how can you adopt something right now that would instantly benefit you, right now? 
• If you take a moment to pause, breathe and release the tension caused by triggers, how would this benefit you? What would shift if you realigned with your values in moments of tension?

Reclaiming Your Power: Building Meaningful Connections with Intention

After some tests, the senior doctor asks, ‘Are you an underperformer or an overperformer?’ The question makes me think. I feel like one, but experience has shown me I’ve done the other—and I really hadn’t expected that outcome. His calm energy creates a safe space for me to be vulnerable and express the internal conflict I am experiencing.

It also allows me to think about what I can take away from this meeting. When he suggested a “Psychosomatic PT”, I didn’t react hostile as I would have normally done, hearing the term. I realized that just maybe this could help me to establish and recognize my boundaries better. 

I cannot begin to tell you how different it feels, when being able to let go of the pain of the past and instead embrace the possibilities of the future. 

By the time I leave the clinic, I feel lighter again—not because everything is fixed, but because I’ve finally felt heard.

Questions:

• What’s one conversation or relationship where you can shift from frustration to contribution? Keep your future champ in mind when asking yourself this question. How would they react?
• How can you bring intention in your day and every day following from now on? What would shift for you if you start and keep creating meaningful connections which will serve you not just today, but from here on forwards?